Thinking through our problems can often lead us round in circles. Counselling can help you incorporate feeling and intuition into your questioning, allowing you to make new links, perhaps with your family scripts or past experiences. Learning when to take action and when to sit back and reflect will radically change the way you view your current challenges and the way you deal with them. Knowing how to access your new inner resources will lead to you feeling more energised and more empowered.
I offer both individual and couple work. In my experience the relationships people have to others, whether friends, colleagues or family is the aspect they treasure the most. The loss of a relationship or holding a fantasy of an ideal relationship they, can cause intense distress. Several studies show the frequency of contact and the quality of personal relationships are crucial to determining levels of well-being. These relationships not only provide purpose and meaning but support during periods of difficulty and stress. The Office for National Statistics (ONS), reported that those people who reported high satisfaction with life, 84% of these people reported high satisfaction with personal relationships, the correlation held true between low life satisfaction and low satisfaction in personal relationships (ONS 2011). In the UK in 2011 one in twenty adults over 16 reported being completely lonely.
Over time I have therefore sought to bring a focus in my therapeutic work how the primary issue or issues causing distress, anxiety or depression is related to the client’s relationship to others, relationship to self such as career change or a distorted relationship such as an addiction and psycho sexual problems. Other related issues stem from this such as unexpressed feelings of shame or guilt which can compound well being further. This also early on provides a compass to the work, and the work will also broaden to other areas such as existential concerns and how the past influences impacts the decision making of the client.
My work and holding the relationship as central in mind, enables clients to explore their patterns of attachment, how the relationships in their lives link to past relationships, and draw on the therapy alliance to facilitate growth. The therapy space also enables the client to explore questions a such as ‘what is the best relationship for me’ ‘ do I relate to the fantasy of being in love’ and ‘what does love look like for me and the way I see the world’. The goal of therapy is therefore for clients to examine and establish better and more healthy relationships which I believe is central to personal happiness.
I outline below presenting problems which I can support you with;
Therapy and with a relationship focus
- Feeling stuck, an inability to move forward, stuck in repetitive patterns. This can apply to repeated issues within current relationship or with several partners
- Depression, experiencing low energy and downward moods swings.
- Lacking purpose or meaning, feeling powerless to respond to the inherent uncertainty of life.
– Intimacy issues, lacking emotional or sexual fulfilment and this is having a negative impact on the relationship or seeking relationships.
- Psycho sexual issues; performance or sexual life is impacting fulfilment in relationship
- Relationship to work self or group dynamics at work causing distress.
- Masculinity, better understanding oneself as a man or the challenges facing this identity
Therapy for couples
Creating a healthy and sustaining relationship with our partner is one of life’s greatest challenges. Couples therapy helps you to improve your relationships and to find them places where we can learn about ourselves and grow.
I have extensive experience of working with couples in different ways, including using psychosexual models and using the work of David Schnarch (link) and the IMAGO model (link).
I will discuss and agree with you the best way of working with your current issues during our first consultation, and we will review our aims of working at regular intervals.